Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Save Your Marriage Avoid Games You Must Never Play

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Save your marriage by learning that there are some marriage games that you must never play. When you learn how to avoid the marriage games you must never play you will also see that there are no marriage games, of this type, that you should play. Perhaps we should start out with a little explanation of what type of marriage games we are talking about. These games, of course, are not board games. Board games most likely would not have an adverse outcome on your marriage unless you are unreasonable competitive. The games that can hurt, and the head games we are speaking of are emotional games.

Emotional games are most commonly used to make one partner feel inadequate or guilty. To put it simply they make your partner feel bad to make you feel better. These types of head games or marriage games have no winner. You really need to avoid anything like them and you can help save your marriage before a problem has a chance to start.

It is understandable how married couples get involved in these marriage games. It is very easy to feel that you are being taken for granted by your partner. If you are the one feeling down it is easy to want to play these dangerous head games to get even. The idea being, you will hurt your partner to teach them a lesson. That never works, remember what we said there are no winners in these marriage games.

Can you get some brief satisfaction from playing some of these marriage games? Yes you can, but every time you hurt the one you love there is a wedge driven into the relationship that can never be removed. It is the old saying that you can never un-ring the bell. Once it is done all you can do is regret it but it never goes away. So do you see what I mean when I say avoid these marriage games if you want to save your marriage?

Do not let your marriage or relationship go into a downward spiral that could end in divorce over a need for short term satisfaction that is at your partners’ expense. Do not continue to do damage to your relationship by inserting more wedges into it. If you drive enough of these, you will not be able to bridge the emotional separation they will cause.

Try stepping back and take a look at your relationship for a positive approach to any disagreement. Instead of striking out with bad emotional marriage games, communicate your feelings openly and ask you partner to do the same. Change your focus from feeling unappreciated to doing whatever it may take to make things better.

It will not be an easy task. You will have to put your hurt feelings aside and don’t let pride get in the way. You will have to take a good assessment of your behavior. Lead by example. Change your behavior to show your partner that you want to save your marriage and relationship. You may be pleasantly surprise by the reaction of your spouse. It will be a positive change from previous behavior. It will allow the two of you to understand each other well enough to save your marriage and strengthen your relationship.

Do not play emotional games with the ones you love. If you are serious about seeking the best advice from an expert in relationships take a look at:The Magic of Making Up

Save Your Marriage in a Culture of Disposable Relationships

Do you know how to save your marriage in a culture that does not value relationships?

I remember when marriage was considered a sacred commitment. My parents’ generation had even more respect for marriage. To them it was a once in a lifetime commitment. The family unit was the strength of our society based on our ability to commit to each other as responsible dedicated couples. Most children had both a mother and a father as role models to follow in achieving the great American dream.

In today’s society marriage appears to be a secondary afterthought. The family unit is weakened by a divorce rate that is over 50%. Even our government seems to be working against saving your marriage by allowing no fault divorce. No reason is needed for a divorce except that one partner just wants out. If your relationship is in trouble, how are you expected to save it in this atmosphere?

First, remember that you can save your marriage, even if you are the only one that does not want to give up on the relationship. It will take a lot of work on your part but you can do it. Be prepared to do the bulk of the work. Know right from the beginning that you will have to make a very large effort to succeed.

OK so you are the one that wants to save your marriage. You will need a plan. Let’s take a look at some of the necessary steps for you to use to save your marriage.

1.) Revaluate the concerns that you and your spouse had that lead to a divorce being considered. Address these concerns. Look at them from your spouses position not just your own. Try to reach a mutual understanding that will allow you to compromise and resolve the issues that created these concerns.

2.) You and your spouse have a considerable investment in your relationship. This is a building block to save your marriage. With this in mind, use this investment as leverage so if your partner wants to leave they realize they have every reason not too. Use the good times you have had to keep things together.

3.) Do not be the one to argue all the reasons you need to stay together. If you badger your spouse any progress you were making could be canceled out. Take a mature stand against divorce but give your partner enough space so they can see the good in your relationship on their own.

4.) Be particularly aware of staying positive in your communication with each other. No one is perfect and now is not a good time to point out each others faults. Learn to live with them.

5.) Try not to be overbearing. Take a stand that you do not want the divorce and you do want to save your marriage, but keep the process in a positive light. The last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire if it is your partner that wants the divorce. Try to do things that you can enjoy together. Show your spouse that you are serious about wanting to save your marriage and you can change as needed to do so. If you can do this, then things should start to fall in place for reconciliation.

Yes we do live in a culture of disposable relationships. Trying to save your marriage may not be the popular thing to do. However, you know in your heart of hearts that your marital relationship is the most important bond in your life. Save your marriage, it is well worth all of your effort.

Do not play emotional games with the ones you love. If you are serious about seeking the best advice from an expert in relationships take a look at: The Magic of Making Up System

Monday, August 9, 2010

It Could Save Your Marriage to Know Your Counselors Expertise

How much do you know about marriage counseling? If you are looking for a marriage counselor do you know what you are looking for? Maybe this humble endeavor will assist you in finding the help you need to save your marriage.

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When looking for a therapist or counselor you will need to know their credentials. Then you will need to know what those credentials are all about. Let's take a look at the three basic classes of counselors or family therapist.

The first we will mention is a Ph.D. or Psy. D. This is a therapist with at least 5 years education in the clinical psychology field and has written a dissertation on the subject. This individual has also had a minimum of three thousand hours of supervised therapy experience under the guidance of a veteran psychologist. You must have a doctoral level degree or you cannot be a "clinical psychologist". The Ph. D. is often known to be more academic in practice and work in forensic psychology as well as therapy.

Then we have the Master of Social Work or M.S.W. This is a well trained individual in the art of social work. He or she is trained to apply social theory to specific situations. These individuals can work with individuals or may be found working in a community type environment such as an institution.

Last but not least we have the M.S. or M.A. in counseling. This title is for a person who is often known as a "Family Therapist". This therapist will work with individuals or small groups in a group counseling environment. They have a two year degree and have at least 1500 hours of experience under the supervision of an experienced therapist.

Look at the therapist and not at the cost. Remember you are looking for the best person to help you in your situation. You want to save your marriage not find the least expensive counseling. Your insurance company may differ in this analysis. They will consistently point you to the least expensive treatment.  Just keep in mind your goal not the expense. Save your marriage by finding the best fit for your relationship troubles.

A therapist or family counselor is a professional that should have the goal in mind of keeping your family from splitting up. Save your marriage should be only outcome in mind. If for any reason you are not comfortable that your counselor is  in synch with the end in mind, then move on and find a therapist that will save your marriage and your relationship.      

I hope you get the most helpful answers for you and your spouse. No one wants a bad break up. It just hurts too many people in and around the couples involved. Seek the advice of experts and take the advice of loved ones and friends with a "grain of salt" Read more in-depth advice on the subject of "Save Your Marriage", from experts, with: "The Magic of Making Up"



Stop Divorce and Save Your Marriage


Do you want to stop divorce proceedings? Then you have to encourage your partner that wants the divorce, to try to save your marriage. This may not be possible in every case but it is needed if you want to have any chance to save your marriage. Also the earlier you mend your relationship the better. A divorce sounds final but it can be stopped and the sooner the better. Stop it quick and the chances of it not reoccurring will be much greater. In other words the sooner you try to save your marriage the better.

Save your marriage by displaying moral fiber. Be the mature one in the relationship. If you have been in the position where you have been pleading for the marriage to stay together stop. Chances are that your pleading was being counter productive anyway. You do not want to display a non-caring temperament, but be calm. Take your stand. Make it clear that divorce is not an option to you and that you do want a chance to save your marriage. This will send a strong message to your partner. It may even surprise them and make them stop to take another assessment of the situation. Your partner most likely already knows you want another chance so state your case in a calm manner. Yelling and threatening each other will not accomplish the goal. If this calm approach is different than the usual way you both react then you may be surprised how your partner reacts when you change your behavior.

By changing your behavior you will see that your partner will tend to take a calmer approach to the situation also. You will be able to make reasonable suggestions such as marriage counseling. Marriage counseling has worked for many, many couples over the years. Ask your partner to stop working towards the divorce and work towards a more positive outcome for the both of you. That outcome will be to save your marriage and stop divorce. Remember that filing divorce papers should never be your first option. Giving your relationship another chance, no matter what, should be your goal.

If you go to marriage counseling you and your partner will be helped by professional counselors to realize and feel the reasons you fell in love in the first place. You can feel the way you were when you wanted to be together. You and your partner will be able to learn how to make a real effort to save your marriage. You will be able to work out problems that might have been hidden beneath the surface of your affiliation getting worse over the years. This will allow you to not just stop a divorce on a temporary basis but to save your marriage permanently.

Insight into each other is what it is all about and the ability to communicate. You will succeed in saving your marriage and your relationship hopefully for a lifetime of love and happiness. Be good and considerate of each other and you will never have to worry how to stop divorce.

I hope you get the most helpful answers for you and your spouse. No one wants a bad break up. It just hurts too many people in and around the couples involved. Seek the advice of experts and take the advice of loved ones and friends with a "grain of salt" Read more in-depth advice on the subject of "Save Your Marriage" from experts, with "The Magic of Making Up". 
 

Stop Divorce and Save Your Marriage

Do you want to stop divorce proceedings? Then you have to encourage your partner that wants the divorce, to try to save your marriage. This may not be possible in every case but it is needed if you want to have any chance to save your marriage. Also the earlier you mend your relationship the better. A divorce sounds final but it can be stopped and the sooner the better. Stop it quick and the chances of it not reoccurring will be much greater. In other words the sooner you try to save your marriage the better.

 

Save your marriage by displaying moral fiber. Be the mature one in the relationship. If you have been in the position where you have been pleading for the marriage to stay together stop. Chances are that your pleading was being counter productive anyway. You do not want to display a non-caring temperament, but be calm. Take your stand. Make it clear that divorce is not an option to you and that you do want a chance to save your marriage. This will send a strong message to your partner. It may even surprise them and make them stop to take another assessment of the situation. Your partner most likely already knows you want another chance so state your case in a calm manner. Yelling and threatening each other will not accomplish the goal. If this calm approach is different than the usual way you both react then you may be surprised how your partner reacts when you change your behavior.

 

By changing your behavior you will see that your partner will tend to take a calmer approach to the situation also. You will be able to make reasonable suggestions such as marriage counseling. Marriage counseling has worked for many, many couples over the years. Ask your partner to stop working towards the divorce and work towards a more positive outcome for the both of you. That outcome will be to save your marriage and stop divorce. Remember that filing divorce papers should never be your first option. Giving your relationship another chance, no matter what, should be your goal.

 

If you go to marriage counseling you and your partner will be helped by professional counselors to realize and feel the reasons you fell in love in the first place. You can feel the way you were when you wanted to be together. You and your partner will be able to learn how to make a real effort to save your marriage. You will be able to work out problems that might have been hidden beneath the surface of your affiliation getting worse over the years. This will allow you to not just stop a divorce on a temporary basis but to save your marriage permanently.

 

Insight into each other is what it is all about and the ability to communicate. You will succeed in saving your marriage and your relationship hopefully for a lifetime of love and happiness. Be good and considerate of each other and you will never have to worry how to stop divorce.

 

I hope you get the most helpful answers for you and your spouse. No one wants a bad break up. It just hurts too many people in and around the couples involved. Seek the advice of experts and take the advice of loved ones and friends with a "grain of salt" Read more in-depth advice on the subject of "Save Your Marriage" from experts,with"The Magic of Making Up".

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Take a Marriage Test to Save Your Marriage and Keep It Healthy

A marriage test can be one of the best ways to save your marriage and keep it healthy and strong. Look at it this way. If your teeth start to hurt you see a dentist right? How about if your back hurts? Do you see a doctor? Of course you do and so does almost everyone else. So what do you do to keep your marriage in shape?

Do not make the mistake of thinking your relationship is just fine and take it for granted. Problems will creep up on you like a heart attack. A heart attack that could have been avoided with a simple blood test. So let’s take a blood test for your marriage.

What is a marriage test? Well it is not a group of inquiries designed to expose the deepest, darkest secrets of your relationship. That type of stuff is for those relationship magazines. As you are aware a marriage is a little bit more complicated. You need to think deeper about your relationship as it exists in your marriage.

I would like to suggest the first question is “Do we communicate?” Proper and true communication between two people in a marriage just cannot be stressed enough. It solves so many disagreements before they start and can actually be fun in a relationship. By having good communication between the two of you, your lives become one in the same in matters that can strengthen and save your marriage.

Now that we are communicating and being open and honest with each other what is your goal. We all think we know where we are headed with a relationship but what if you and your spouse have different objectives. You had better get this clear before it becomes conflict. This does not mean you both cannot be satisfied in achieving your individual goals but it does mean you both have a clear picture of each others expectations. This gives you a chance to work together and not be surprised by each others ideas of where you hope to go with your marriage. You will have the opportunity to compliment each others goals instead of coming in conflict over them.

Can you be honest about your likes and dislikes of each others personalities? This is a very hard subject to be honest about and not hurt each others feelings. Just be open and honest with each other and do not let some little quirk keep worsening until it becomes a real challenge to your relationship this can be great advice in how to save your marriage before it needs to be saved. You are being proactive and eliminating many obstacles before they can even become obstacles. You will be able to look down the road to see things that may come up and you will have the ability to talk about them while you are in a cool and calm state of mind.

Does this marriage test sound hard? It is. It is also one the best things you can do for your relationship. If you see a big problem headed your way you will have a chance to use any number of resources that are available to save your marriage and keep it healthy. You will not be afraid to go out and find the help you need.

I hope you get the most helpful answers for you and your spouse. No one wants a bad break up. It just hurts too many people in and around the couples involved. Seek the advice of experts and take the advice of loved ones and friends with a "grain of salt" Read more in-depth advice on the subject of "Save Your Marriage", from experts, from "The Magic of Making Up".

Save Your Marriage Avoid Ruining Your Relationship

Did you ever find yourself wondering, ok now we are married, what now? If you have then you need to start thinking of how to save your marriage and avoid ruining your relationship. It is true that after marriage some couples feel a let down and feel it is more of an end than a beginning. This attitude or state of mind makes the time just after a marriage a dangerous period for that relationship.

When any couples first connect it is nothing less than pure excitement as the relationship grows. Everyday seems to hold a new treasure of experience. There is always something to look forward too. Even just looking forward to seeing each other can bring joy to the heart. There are new people to meet and a new family to interact with and become part of. Eventually you have the big day to plan with happy expectations. It is not until after the marriage that some couples start to see reality as a let down to their expectations.

It is then that the happy couple learns what it really is to live with each other. They must look towards a life together and build it for themselves. They can not take the state of mind that they have reached their goal and now this is all there is. It is important that they as the new couple work on the concept of “saving your marriage” and strengthening the relationship from the very beginning. Find the direction in life they want to travel and make their plans. Keep all lines of communication open and avoid the pitfalls of being dissatisfied that can lead to doing something disastrous such as cheating, lying, and being disagreeable and starting fights for no reason.

A couple can be happy in most everything for the rest of their married life if they just take the time to work together and keep all the lines of communication open. They can not just hope that everything will work out. They, or you, as a couple must take the initiative to save your marriage and make it last, make it happily, for a lifetime.

Just keep in mind that reaching your goal of marriage is not an end but as a beginning. It should not be looked at as a let down with no where to go from there. What is needed is for you as a couple to work together to grow your relationship and keep it growing through good communication skills and the use of common interests. It cannot be stressed enough the importance of honesty and the ability to work through delicate issues that could cause hurt feelings. Just work together with the common goal of how to save your marriage and your relationship. Stay happy with each other and enjoy you life together.

I hope you get the most helpful answers for you and your spouse. No one wants a bad break up. It just hurts too many people in and around the couples involved. Seek the advice of experts and take the advice of loved ones and friends with a "grain of salt" Read more in-depth advice on the subject of "Save Your Marriage", from experts, from "The Magic of Making Up".

Save Your Marriage Do Not Suffer From a Divorce

If you are reading this article I am going to assume you may want some advice on the subject of how to save your marriage. It is true that over 50% of the marriages in the states today end in divorce. Do not suffer from divorce there are too many good reasons for you to save your marriage.

Here are some of the considerations of why you do not want to suffer from divorce. You will, of course, feel a loss and a tremendous feeling of loneliness.

This is a strong emotional strain on your mind and physical well being. Then as if loneliness was not enough there will be financial matters to consider and work out. This should be enough alone to motivate you to do everything in your power to save your marriage. You will be stronger and emotionally healthier and physically better off if you can salvage a great relationship.

There is any number of reasons that you may feel your marriage is dying or coming apart. But the fact that you are looking for advice is a good indication that you are committed to save it. As long as you are both willing to work at it, there will always be hope you can save your marriage.

Let's take a look at a worst case scenario in a marriage. How about this? You find out your spouse has cheated on you. You feel hurt and bitter and all of that is to be understood. But, remember, carrying hatred around in your heart is a poison to you and others around you.

Find out if your spouse is truly sorry about the affair and wants to work it out. Then find out why it happened. Do not place blame on yourself or anyone else just make an attempt to understand and start to heal. You see how that works and even after the ultimate betrayal you will find you can still save your marriage.

Remember, the above example is a worst case scenario. There are many more reasons your marriage could be in trouble. They could range from financial troubles to disciplining the children and beyond. How to save your marriage starts by learning why it is in trouble by addressing the causes of your problems.

I hope you get the most helpful answers for you and your spouse. No one wants a bad break up. It just hurts too many people in and around the couples involved. Seek the advice of experts and take the advice of loved ones and friends with a "grain of salt" Read more in-depth advice on the subject of "Save Your Marriage", from experts, with "The Magic of Making Up".