Do you know how to save your marriage in a culture that does not value relationships?
I remember when marriage was considered a sacred commitment. My parents’ generation had even more respect for marriage. To them it was a once in a lifetime commitment. The family unit was the strength of our society based on our ability to commit to each other as responsible dedicated couples. Most children had both a mother and a father as role models to follow in achieving the great American dream.
In today’s society marriage appears to be a secondary afterthought. The family unit is weakened by a divorce rate that is over 50%. Even our government seems to be working against saving your marriage by allowing no fault divorce. No reason is needed for a divorce except that one partner just wants out. If your relationship is in trouble, how are you expected to save it in this atmosphere?
First, remember that you can save your marriage, even if you are the only one that does not want to give up on the relationship. It will take a lot of work on your part but you can do it. Be prepared to do the bulk of the work. Know right from the beginning that you will have to make a very large effort to succeed.
OK so you are the one that wants to save your marriage. You will need a plan. Let’s take a look at some of the necessary steps for you to use to save your marriage.
1.) Revaluate the concerns that you and your spouse had that lead to a divorce being considered. Address these concerns. Look at them from your spouses position not just your own. Try to reach a mutual understanding that will allow you to compromise and resolve the issues that created these concerns.
2.) You and your spouse have a considerable investment in your relationship. This is a building block to save your marriage. With this in mind, use this investment as leverage so if your partner wants to leave they realize they have every reason not too. Use the good times you have had to keep things together.
3.) Do not be the one to argue all the reasons you need to stay together. If you badger your spouse any progress you were making could be canceled out. Take a mature stand against divorce but give your partner enough space so they can see the good in your relationship on their own.
4.) Be particularly aware of staying positive in your communication with each other. No one is perfect and now is not a good time to point out each others faults. Learn to live with them.
5.) Try not to be overbearing. Take a stand that you do not want the divorce and you do want to save your marriage, but keep the process in a positive light. The last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire if it is your partner that wants the divorce. Try to do things that you can enjoy together. Show your spouse that you are serious about wanting to save your marriage and you can change as needed to do so. If you can do this, then things should start to fall in place for reconciliation.
Yes we do live in a culture of disposable relationships. Trying to save your marriage may not be the popular thing to do. However, you know in your heart of hearts that your marital relationship is the most important bond in your life. Save your marriage, it is well worth all of your effort.
Do not play emotional games with the ones you love. If you are serious about seeking the best advice from an expert in relationships take a look at: The Magic of Making Up System
The most helpful information available to manage your relationships. Find answers and understanding for those situations that just seem impossible. Use our "Save Your Marriage Toolbox".
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
It Could Save Your Marriage to Know Your Counselors Expertise
How much do you know about marriage counseling? If you are looking for a marriage counselor do you know what you are looking for? Maybe this humble endeavor will assist you in finding the help you need to save your marriage.

When looking for a therapist or counselor you will need to know their credentials. Then you will need to know what those credentials are all about. Let's take a look at the three basic classes of counselors or family therapist.
The first we will mention is a Ph.D. or Psy. D. This is a therapist with at least 5 years education in the clinical psychology field and has written a dissertation on the subject. This individual has also had a minimum of three thousand hours of supervised therapy experience under the guidance of a veteran psychologist. You must have a doctoral level degree or you cannot be a "clinical psychologist". The Ph. D. is often known to be more academic in practice and work in forensic psychology as well as therapy.
Then we have the Master of Social Work or M.S.W. This is a well trained individual in the art of social work. He or she is trained to apply social theory to specific situations. These individuals can work with individuals or may be found working in a community type environment such as an institution.
Last but not least we have the M.S. or M.A. in counseling. This title is for a person who is often known as a "Family Therapist". This therapist will work with individuals or small groups in a group counseling environment. They have a two year degree and have at least 1500 hours of experience under the supervision of an experienced therapist.
Look at the therapist and not at the cost. Remember you are looking for the best person to help you in your situation. You want to save your marriage not find the least expensive counseling. Your insurance company may differ in this analysis. They will consistently point you to the least expensive treatment. Just keep in mind your goal not the expense. Save your marriage by finding the best fit for your relationship troubles.
A therapist or family counselor is a professional that should have the goal in mind of keeping your family from splitting up. Save your marriage should be only outcome in mind. If for any reason you are not comfortable that your counselor is in synch with the end in mind, then move on and find a therapist that will save your marriage and your relationship.
I hope you get the most helpful answers for you and your spouse. No one wants a bad break up. It just hurts too many people in and around the couples involved. Seek the advice of experts and take the advice of loved ones and friends with a "grain of salt" Read more in-depth advice on the subject of "Save Your Marriage", from experts, with: "The Magic of Making Up"
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