Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Save Your Marriage Avoid Games You Must Never Play

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Save your marriage by learning that there are some marriage games that you must never play. When you learn how to avoid the marriage games you must never play you will also see that there are no marriage games, of this type, that you should play. Perhaps we should start out with a little explanation of what type of marriage games we are talking about. These games, of course, are not board games. Board games most likely would not have an adverse outcome on your marriage unless you are unreasonable competitive. The games that can hurt, and the head games we are speaking of are emotional games.

Emotional games are most commonly used to make one partner feel inadequate or guilty. To put it simply they make your partner feel bad to make you feel better. These types of head games or marriage games have no winner. You really need to avoid anything like them and you can help save your marriage before a problem has a chance to start.

It is understandable how married couples get involved in these marriage games. It is very easy to feel that you are being taken for granted by your partner. If you are the one feeling down it is easy to want to play these dangerous head games to get even. The idea being, you will hurt your partner to teach them a lesson. That never works, remember what we said there are no winners in these marriage games.

Can you get some brief satisfaction from playing some of these marriage games? Yes you can, but every time you hurt the one you love there is a wedge driven into the relationship that can never be removed. It is the old saying that you can never un-ring the bell. Once it is done all you can do is regret it but it never goes away. So do you see what I mean when I say avoid these marriage games if you want to save your marriage?

Do not let your marriage or relationship go into a downward spiral that could end in divorce over a need for short term satisfaction that is at your partners’ expense. Do not continue to do damage to your relationship by inserting more wedges into it. If you drive enough of these, you will not be able to bridge the emotional separation they will cause.

Try stepping back and take a look at your relationship for a positive approach to any disagreement. Instead of striking out with bad emotional marriage games, communicate your feelings openly and ask you partner to do the same. Change your focus from feeling unappreciated to doing whatever it may take to make things better.

It will not be an easy task. You will have to put your hurt feelings aside and don’t let pride get in the way. You will have to take a good assessment of your behavior. Lead by example. Change your behavior to show your partner that you want to save your marriage and relationship. You may be pleasantly surprise by the reaction of your spouse. It will be a positive change from previous behavior. It will allow the two of you to understand each other well enough to save your marriage and strengthen your relationship.

Do not play emotional games with the ones you love. If you are serious about seeking the best advice from an expert in relationships take a look at:The Magic of Making Up

Save Your Marriage in a Culture of Disposable Relationships

Do you know how to save your marriage in a culture that does not value relationships?

I remember when marriage was considered a sacred commitment. My parents’ generation had even more respect for marriage. To them it was a once in a lifetime commitment. The family unit was the strength of our society based on our ability to commit to each other as responsible dedicated couples. Most children had both a mother and a father as role models to follow in achieving the great American dream.

In today’s society marriage appears to be a secondary afterthought. The family unit is weakened by a divorce rate that is over 50%. Even our government seems to be working against saving your marriage by allowing no fault divorce. No reason is needed for a divorce except that one partner just wants out. If your relationship is in trouble, how are you expected to save it in this atmosphere?

First, remember that you can save your marriage, even if you are the only one that does not want to give up on the relationship. It will take a lot of work on your part but you can do it. Be prepared to do the bulk of the work. Know right from the beginning that you will have to make a very large effort to succeed.

OK so you are the one that wants to save your marriage. You will need a plan. Let’s take a look at some of the necessary steps for you to use to save your marriage.

1.) Revaluate the concerns that you and your spouse had that lead to a divorce being considered. Address these concerns. Look at them from your spouses position not just your own. Try to reach a mutual understanding that will allow you to compromise and resolve the issues that created these concerns.

2.) You and your spouse have a considerable investment in your relationship. This is a building block to save your marriage. With this in mind, use this investment as leverage so if your partner wants to leave they realize they have every reason not too. Use the good times you have had to keep things together.

3.) Do not be the one to argue all the reasons you need to stay together. If you badger your spouse any progress you were making could be canceled out. Take a mature stand against divorce but give your partner enough space so they can see the good in your relationship on their own.

4.) Be particularly aware of staying positive in your communication with each other. No one is perfect and now is not a good time to point out each others faults. Learn to live with them.

5.) Try not to be overbearing. Take a stand that you do not want the divorce and you do want to save your marriage, but keep the process in a positive light. The last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire if it is your partner that wants the divorce. Try to do things that you can enjoy together. Show your spouse that you are serious about wanting to save your marriage and you can change as needed to do so. If you can do this, then things should start to fall in place for reconciliation.

Yes we do live in a culture of disposable relationships. Trying to save your marriage may not be the popular thing to do. However, you know in your heart of hearts that your marital relationship is the most important bond in your life. Save your marriage, it is well worth all of your effort.

Do not play emotional games with the ones you love. If you are serious about seeking the best advice from an expert in relationships take a look at: The Magic of Making Up System